Learn to Question!

Socrates was one of the greatest teachers the world has ever seen. Teaching the pedagogic way by means of asking questions was his hallmark. He would never provide answers to the questions his pupils asked, instead, hurled back a question to make the student think and reflect. The outcome was a deep learning and in the process, a skill building for the pupil to learn to question. Thus born the art and science of Socratic Questioning!

Cut to the modern times- personal and professional lives!

In an era of communication, where listening and questioning skills are at a premium, we find many a professional struggling when it comes to asking impactful and incisive questions. Leaders, people managers, sales professionals, students name them and this takes epidemic proportions.

We see modern managers interacting with individuals prescriptively. Sales professionals struggling to put forth the right questions to their customers to get them reveal their preferences and motives. Teachers showing a bias towards the students who come up with fitting answers and worse even, admonishing those minorities who ask frequent questions in classes! What's gone wrong?

Let's be bold enough in admitting that many of us even as performance professionals dread this skill while coaching, engaging and consulting with stakeholders! This seems deep rooted.  We like to talk matters down rather than listening about it as a discourse.

I attribute two intrinsic reasons to this syndrome

§  Societal practices

§  Personal preferences

As a society, we encourage and promote kind of superiority for answers and solutions. We love to be branded as a 'go- to-answer' man, 'knows it all' persona. Since childhood, we are accustomed to hear from our parents as to how we fared answering questions in classes or exams. Very few would recollect their parents enquiring them if they had asked good questions to their teachers or friends.

Neil Postman once said 'Children come to school as question marks but unfortunately leave school as periods'. Apathy and fear towards questioning start taking toots from the beginning of our childhood.

As human being, we love to hear our own voices rather than listening to others and this preference marginalize a culture of discourse. Exploring through questions takes a back seat. As we grow up and climb ladders of success many of us develop a 'tell-mode' approach to work and life. No wonder, listening is equally a challenging skill as Questioning.

Growing body of evidences and best practices suggest that effective leaders are good teachers who engage their people through series of thought- provoking questions and storytelling. Contrast this with an average manager who seldom asks any incisive question to his team and monopolizes conversation. General wisdom will tell that the more you make others talk and reveal, the better equipped you are in terms of knowledge and information about the person and the situation.

How do we then gain mastery over the art of questioning?

Like any other skills, it requires self- awareness as spring board to start off.

1.       Know your current questioning skills and styles - A self-aware soul will do better and go further

2.       Build your repertoire of questioning styles - Gaining a practical understanding of various types of questions and their relevance in communication. Open- ended, Closed- ended, Leading, Exploring and Rhetorical questions are the ones mostly used for effective engagement.

3.       Take a genuine interest in the person or the subject you are engaging with - your questions will appear solution-driven rather a probe.

4.       Allow the person to respond and clarify - Don't just assume and interpret. Trust in communication starts from here.

5.       Be open to clarify and rephrase to elicit desired response - At the end of it, the meaning of your communication is the response that you get.

6.       Encourage respondents with warmth and positivity – A friendly environment will add to your confidence and flow.

7.       Match your questioning skills with a deep listening skill -You'll be reciprocated.

8.       Match your questions with suitable body- language - They play out synergy.

9.       Ask for feedback - Your progress will be amplified with nuggets of feedback from colleagues and friends

10.   Practice it the right way! Seek help from others who do it better.

Questioning skills and its mastery will determine the richness in our relationship, communication and leadership. Questioning should be matched with an astute sense of listening. Leaders and their organizations will reap disproportionate benefits by cultivating and promoting a questioning culture. Examples of a position of Chief Questioning Officer in some German companies are few but make real business sense.

Let the tribe grow!